


One Week

by sodium_amytal



Category: Rush (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dating, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 10:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6002356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodium_amytal/pseuds/sodium_amytal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Test for Echo era. After being set up together on a blind date by Neil, Geddy and Alex concoct a plan to get back at him. It starts out as a prank, but the joke’s on them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Week

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this one for a while, and I'm excited to share it with you guys! :D

"Alright, Geddy, look, you're 43 and still single. It's getting a little creepy," Neil says, because he doesn't fuck around with small talk. They're sitting in a coffee shop, seated near the window where outside a blanket of snow covers the ground. Neil takes a sip of his coffee—skim milk, decaf, like that makes a bit of difference—while Geddy looks as pissed off as someone with a foamy drink in front of them can look. The criss-cross-y caramel sauce definitely isn't doing him any favors.

Neil seems to think he has the God-given right to act as a broker in affairs of the heart, as he and his wife have tried to set Geddy up with every sad, lonely gay man they know. Neil's heart may be in the right place, but where the hell is his brain?

"Lucky for you, I have a friend who's available for the week," Neil continues, oblivious or impervious to Geddy's withering glare. "His name is Alex, and he's a pilot. Everything he says is hilarious. I think you two would really hit it off."

"What's the catch?"

Neil looks offended that Geddy would question his goodwill. "Catch? There's no catch. It's just a friendly chat over coffee or dinner. Nothing more than that, unless you want it to be."

"I mean what's wrong with him? There's always some weird or obnoxious personality flaw in the people you set me up with." Like Dirk the Jerk, who spent the night with Geddy then, in the morning, woke up and looked at him and said, "Ooh, you look like I need a drink," then put his clothes on and left without another word. Or Terry the 'Roid-Rage Ranger, who, on the walk back from the restaurant, punched three mailboxes because "they were talking shit." Or Jim the Insecure Jock, who had a tattoo right above his dick that read: 'Caution: Choking Hazard.'

"There's nothing wrong with him," Neil says. "Well, unless you count the divorce."

"Oh, great, so he's damaged and mistrusting."

"No, that's you."

Geddy rolls his eyes. "Just because I don't like blind dates doesn't mean I'm damaged goods."

"Again, I reiterate: you're 43 and never been married. Some people see that as a red flag of sorts."

"How do you know this guy is open to dating other men?"

"Because he said so." Neil isn't the type to lie and purposely set Geddy up with a straight guy, but it still feels like he's hiding something here.

"Is that why he's divorced? His wife caught him with another guy?"

"There are ways to derail a marriage without cheating," Neil says in a particularly evasive way.

Geddy sighs. "Will you tell me how he fucked his marriage up so I don't have to ask him? That's not really a great first-date conversation."

"He married too young."

"And?" Geddy's expecting a bigger bombshell here, like 'he can't get it up' or 'he can't come within a thousand feet of a school.'

"And he killed a man just to watch him die. What do you mean 'and'?" Neil takes another sip of coffee while Geddy pouts at him. "Look, I told Alex all about you, and he's really excited to meet you. I know the last couple guys you've gone out with have been duds, but I'm blaming that entirely on Jackie, because they were her friends. But I've known Alex for years. He's great, and he already likes you."

"Alright, alright, I'll do it," Geddy acquiesces, because it's the fastest way out of this conversation without looking like an asshole. He hasn't had a date in two months, and while that's pretty much his own fault, he thinks it might be nice to engage in a bit of impromptu social interaction. Who knows? With the way Neil's championing Alex, maybe Geddy will actually like the guy.

* * *

The date takes place the next evening at an Italian restaurant that Geddy knows very well. It's one of his favorite places to eat, and he wonders if Alex shares his taste or if Neil simply suggested it to make a good first impression. It's not very crowded on a Monday evening, so Geddy easily finds the nervous-looking blond sitting by himself in a red booth. He's wearing a dark blazer thrown over a Tool t-shirt, so at the very least he has good taste in music.

One hour. Surely, Geddy can put up with one meal and an hour's worth of stiff, uncomfortable company. He decides to just get this over with and slides in opposite Alex. "You must be Alex."

"How embarrassed would you be if I said no?" Alex says, but there's a teasing smirk at the corner of his mouth.

"Neil warned me you'd be particularly humorous."

There's a bright-eyed innocence to Alex's smile that's immediately attractive. His eyes are an intense blue, and his blond hair is shiny and messy—in a good way—and Geddy doesn't know how to feel about any of this. "I come with a warning now? That's troubling."

"It wasn't so much a warning as it was a selling point. I'm really not a fan of blind dates. But Neil raved about how excited you were to meet me, so here I am."

Alex studies Geddy's face, trying to figure out if he's joking. "Really? Because he said _you_ couldn't wait to meet _me_."

For a moment, Geddy's offended that Neil would speak such slander, then he's offended for an entirely different reason, because Neil lied to get them here. There is, of course, the implication that Neil thinks Geddy is so pathetic and off-putting that he has to lie to get someone to go out with him.

Alex tilts his head the way a dog does when it hears a strange sound. "So you didn't really wanna go out with me?"

"Not a chance!" Geddy chuckles, but he stops when he sees the flicker of hurt on Alex's face. "No, no, I mean—It's nothing personal. Neil and his wife have set me up on a lot of bad dates. Though this is the first time he's lied to get me to agree to one."

"Really? It's my second. I don't know why I'm surprised."

"Second?"

"Yeah, it was about six months after the divorce—Shit, did he tell you about that?"

Geddy nods. "All part of his plan. I guess he didn't want a prospective date sounding too good to be true." But Geddy still showed up. He wonders what that says about him.

"Good to know he was honest about the unflattering parts," Alex says with a laugh. "Anyway, he set me up with this woman who just would _not_ stop talking. The saddest part is I don't even think she knew she was doing it. Either she has zero friends, or she does have friends but they're too afraid to tell her to shut up every once in a while. But y'know what Neil said to get me to go out with her? 'She's a great listener.' So, yeah, I guess he'd have to lie to get me to roll the dice on another blind date."

They order their food, and Geddy just orders what he usually gets when he comes here: penne alla vodka, with an extra basket of garlic knots, because Alex has already destroyed the first one. He knows he's going to need alcohol to get through this, so he orders a bottle of wine, too. Usually on a date he feels pressured to make an attempt at eating healthy, but since he's already given up he's free to eat something that's going to leave him feeling sleepy and fat for the rest of the night.

Geddy expects them to run out of small talk before the food arrives, but Alex surprises him by being a pretty good conversationalist. They have the inevitable discussion about what they do, which means Geddy talks about the thrilling life of a music producer, then Alex shares stories of life as a pilot. Then they talk about their childhoods, getting some pretty good mileage out of coming from immigrant families. Then they talk about movies, where Geddy holds court because he's seen pretty much everything and has a minor obsession with film.

Eventually, the subject of Neil comes back into play, and Alex wonders, "I feel like he's playing a prank by setting us up together, but I'm not sure what the punchline is."

"'Divorced guy and pathetic bachelor live happily ever after'?"

Alex snorts a laugh, and normally Geddy would find that a huge turn-off, but on Alex it works. Especially since he seems to be laughing at something he's about to say. "What if one of his hook-ups actually worked? He'd be bummed he lost two friends to one another. Y'know, let's call his bluff. He screwed with us, so let's screw him right back."

"Um, phrasing?"

"What if we mess with him and say the date went so well we're moving in together? We can just bullshit and see how long it takes for Neil to lose his mind."

Geddy chuckles. "Which probably wouldn't be too long. A couple days, tops. But I get the feeling he'll try to fact-check our little fabrication. You know how obsessive he gets. He'll probably stake out my apartment to prove to himself that it's a prank." Which would make it a million times funnier if they made this charade foolproof. "Let's go all in. How 'bout you actually stay with me? I've got a pretty big apartment; you'd have plenty of space to yourself. And I'm gone most of the time anyway, so you'd only have to put up with me for a few hours a day."

Alex laughs again, musical and unrestrained, and Geddy likes the sound of it. "That's kind of amazing. You take this prank stuff seriously, don't you?"

"Neil needs to learn to stop meddling in my love life and—God, does anybody besides Scooby-Doo villains actually use the word 'meddling'?" Geddy finds he's a little addicted to making Alex laugh, and makes a mental note to do it as often as he can. "Whatever. Anyway, I think it's time Neil learns a lesson about minding his own business. I guess it's not really the set-ups that bother me as much as the lying. I mean, what, half the people in the world are guys? And maybe somewhere in that small subsection of guys who like other guys are a few who might actually go out with me?"

"So how come you're single, then?" Alex asks, and not a lot of people can get away with a question like that, but Alex has a naivete about him that belies any cruelty.

"I thought it would be obvious," Geddy says, earning another laugh from Alex. It's probably worthwhile to give a serious answer, though, if only for his own sake of introspection. There might be some deep-rooted issues at play here. "I dunno, I would say it's because I work too much to deal with relationships, but I don't think that's true. The time is there if I'm willing to put it in. I just... don't. It's not a conscious thing. I just get wrapped up in too many other things to really think about it."

"Y'know, a therapist would probably tell you you're using your work as an excuse to avoid building relationships."

"That's why I don't go to therapy."

Alex chuckles. "Sorry. My ex-wife was a therapist. Twenty-five years of being psychoanalyzed kinda rubs off on you, though not in the way you'd think."

"How's that?"

"Well, I can usually see where other people are going wrong, but I'll be damned if I can figure myself out."

It's only after they're finished eating and the wine's nearly gone when Geddy realizes he actually enjoyed himself tonight. If this were a normal date, he'd raise the question of seeing Alex again, but he's so twisted up in his pride he refuses out of principle. But then again, why should Geddy have to suffer because Neil's a sneaky bastard? Alex certainly seems to enjoy his company—he's been laughing a lot (at Geddy's jokes, too), and his smile makes things flutter in Geddy's chest. It's been far too long since he's had a good experience on a blind date. Why not let himself have this? So what if Neil's smug about it?

Geddy thinks about how alone he is, the desolation spreading throughout him like a cancer, and he asks, "Do you still wanna go through with the prank?"

"Absolutely! It'd be hilarious. I'm game." Alex's eager expression sort of wanes, and Geddy panics, fearing he's overstepped some sort of boundary. Then Alex says, "Hey, you won't judge me too harshly if I order dessert, will you?"

This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

"So, how'd the date go?" Neil asks the next day while Geddy's at work. Even over the phone, Geddy can almost see the mischievous look of anticipation on his face. It hits Geddy that Neil just wants him to be happy, and Geddy almost feels bad about the epic-scale prank he's about to pull on the guy. But it's just a good-natured joke, and if Neil couldn't take a joke he wouldn't be friends with Geddy—or Alex, for that matter.

"Oh, it was great! I can't thank you enough. You were right; he's a riot. I don't even remember the last time I laughed so much." It's a little weird for Geddy that the smile in his voice is natural, that he's not making this up. Maybe the fact that he genuinely likes Alex will help sell the prank.

"Really? That's good to hear, Ged. I'm glad you had a nice time." There's a carefully-controlled glee in Neil's voice that vanishes entirely when he sets the phone down and says, "Ged and Alex really hit it off!" to his wife, who most likely wishes her husband had less free time on his hands.

Geddy leans back in his chair and kicks up his feet on the console. The band he's working with is taking a short break now, so he has a few minutes to shoot the shit. "Yeah, y'know, I was thinking a lot about what you said, how I'm getting older and still single, and I thought, hey, maybe this is my chance, y'know? So, uh, we talked about it, and he's moving in with me."

Neil laughs a nervous, jittery sound, like he thinks there's a possibility Geddy isn't making a joke. "Very funny."

"No, I'm serious. He's bringing his stuff over tonight."

There's a long moment of silence after that, and Geddy thinks Neil has hung up, because he's gone frighteningly quiet. Then Neil roars, "What?" and Geddy yanks the phone away from his ear. "You've only known him one day! What do you mean he's moving in with you?"

"I dunno what to tell you. Sometimes two people just click, y'know?"

"You barely know each other!"

"It doesn't feel that way. It's like I've known him my entire life. We have so much in common."

"Whose idea was this? Was it his?"

"We both talked about it and thought, 'hey, why not?'"

"You were drinking, weren't you?"

Geddy frowns. "That's beside the point, Neil."

Neil exhales a loud, angry sound, and Geddy imagines him pinching the bridge of his nose in that way of his. "This is—this is a joke, right? You can't be serious."

"I distinctly remember you saying, and I quote, 'you're 43 and single. It's getting a little creepy.'"

Neil grumbles something that sounds like, 'damn, I did say that.' "But, okay, since I doubt you know jack-shit about each other after _one date_ , Alex was married to Charlene for over half of his life. Obviously he's just desperate to be with someone again and wants to grab hold of the first person who pays him any attention. Enter you: the dupe du jour."

"Gee, I'm glad you didn't put any of this in your sales pitch."

"I can't believe you did this. This has to be a prank, right? You two got together and came up with a way to get back at me for setting you up."

Geddy finds the air a little harder to move in and out of his lungs. Does Neil know them _that_ well? "Well, why don't you come over tonight and ask Alex yourself?"

"Alright, y'know, he's s'posed to be here in an hour. If this is all one big joke, I'll get it out of him. And if it's not, you guys are bigger idiots than I ever imagined."

"Love you, too."

After Neil hangs up, Geddy dials Alex's mobile number. "Hey, it's Geddy."

"Oh, hey!" Alex sounds genuinely happy to hear from him. "What's going on?"

"Well, I just talked to Neil," Geddy says with a grin. "Sounds like he bought it hook, line and sinker, so much that he's going to ask you about it, so consider this a heads-up."

"Oh man, that's great!"

"Are you guys going anywhere special?"

"Are you planning on showing up with flowers?" Alex teases.

"I'm just curious."

"No, I'm meeting him at his place. I haven't seen him since I got into town, so I figured I'd pay him a visit before I spend the rest of the day with my kids." Geddy picks up on the keyword there.

"Kids?" Alex has children? In retrospect, it's kind of obvious, and Geddy doesn't know why he didn't think about that possibility before. "You have kids?"

"Yeah... Did I not mention that last night?"

"I would have remembered if you did." Geddy's never had a crush on someone with children before. Would Alex's kids like him? A strange thought, really, but there it is. He wonders what it might be like to date a father. He pictures the two of them living in Geddy's apartment, the happy couple raising children together, and then he realizes how stupid it is for him to think such nonsense about a guy he's only known for two days.

"Well, I do," Alex says, and Geddy hears a twinge of nervousness there. "Don't worry, they won't be coming over and criticizing your taste in decorating. I might, though."

Geddy laughs, and the studio door opens. "Hey, I gotta go. I guess I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Have fun with Neil," Geddy adds before hanging up.

* * *

"So, you and Geddy, huh?"

Alex is in Neil's study, and Neil is reclining in his leather chair and giving him a look Alex hasn't been on the receiving end of since high school. On Neil's writing desk, the notebook computer displays the typical brick maze screensaver. The room is filled with cherry mahogany furniture, rows of books neatly displayed on bookshelves, but no TV. Neil's claimed a television in his sacred writing space would be a distraction, and a writer can't afford to invite distractions into his life. Which doesn't explain why he's chosen to interfere in Geddy and Alex's personal lives, but whatever. Everybody needs a hobby.

"Yeah, he's great! He's smart, funny, and you never mentioned how cute he is!"

Neil scratches the bristly growth on his chin. "I don't really think I'm qualified to make that kind of judgement."

"Well, either way, I'm glad you convinced me to meet him. We got along so well we decided to just get this ball rolling and move in together."

Neil's eyes go wide in disbelief and horror. "You've got to be joking."

"No. Why would I be? Geddy and I get along great. We like the same things. It's like we've known each other our whole lives. I mean, look, we're not exactly the youngest guys around, and my hair's getting thinner while my waistline isn't"—Alex chuckles despite himself—"and I've found someone who really likes me, so why waste time, y'know?" That's a little more honest and revealing than Alex intended.

Neil looks slightly surprised by Alex's candid speech there, but his expression shifts back to skepticism. "Look, Alex, you got married right out of high school. You're terrified of being alone because you don't know how to _be_ alone. Everything you're doing here is motivated by that fear."

"Wow, that's—that's pretty negative way of looking at it. I just don't see the point in dragging things out. We like each other, and we'd get to this stage inevitably, so why not now?"

Neil lifts an eyebrow without altering anything else on his face; Alex has always wondered how he does that. "You had _one date_."

Alex just sort of shrugs, because he can't really refute that point. "I got a good feeling about him. I've been through a divorce, so I feel like I know where the trapdoors are. I won't mess this up, and I don't think Geddy will either."

Neil does not look convinced. His brow is furrowed in a way that makes Alex feel particularly small.

"Look, you're always encouraging me to take chances, right? So here I am. Sure, something bad might happen, but something good might happen, too. I mean, just because you wouldn't do it this way doesn't mean we're wrong. You were the one who wanted us to get together, and we did. I would've thought you'd be happy."

Something Alex said there must have been good, because Neil nods sagely and says, "Alright, alright, I'll back off. I just hope this works out, for both your sakes."

Alex figures that's as supportive as Neil's going to get.

* * *

"What's for dinner?" Alex asks that evening after he's gotten settled into Geddy's apartment. He spent a good while admiring the view from Geddy's high-rise loft, which makes zero sense, because Alex sees things from high vantage points all the time. Then they spent an hour or two on the couch watching TV until Alex started investigating the kitchen.

Geddy shrugs. "Whatever you want."

"No, don't do anything special for me. What do you usually do for dinner?"

"Look on the fridge," Geddy says, referring to the numerous take-out and pizza delivery fliers plastered over the refrigerator.

"That's disheartening." Geddy can practically hear the pout in Alex's voice.

"Hey, don't turn your nose up at my right to eat garbage. My house, my rules."

"There's gotta be something in here we can agree on." Geddy hears the sound of the refrigerator door opening with a sucking pop, then he hears Alex shuffling things around and opening squeaky crisper drawers. "Not to brag, but I'm pretty good in the kitchen. I always said if I didn't get my pilot's license I would've been a chef." Something—possibly a glass jar—slides across one of the fridge shelves. "You'd be surprised how creative and resourceful you can get when you've gotta feed two hungry, picky kids."

"Speaking of which, how old are they?" Yes, Geddy's still trying to figure out if, in the event he and Alex manage to build something here beyond an elaborate charade, he'll have to navigate the minefield of playing parent to someone else's children.

"Well, Justin's already grown up and moved out, so he sorta survived the fallout of the divorce," Alex says with a self-deprecating chuckle. "But Adrian is still in high school."

"Oh." So Geddy probably wouldn't be too involved, then. He isn't sure how he feels about that. Relief? Disappointment? Meeting Alex has thrown his preconceptions of what he wants out of life into somewhat of a disarray.

"What about you?" There's the clang of pots and pans in the kitchen, so Geddy assumes Alex found something suitable for dinner. "You ever think about having kids?"

"Um..." Geddy looks over his shoulder at Alex in the kitchen. "Do you need any help in there?"

"Nah, I'm fine. I'm a professional, remember?" Alex grins at him. "Nice way to avoid the question, though."

Geddy feels oddly trapped. "Um, okay, well, I've thought about it, I guess, but I've never really given it serious consideration."

"Fair enough. But, y'know, time's tickin' away, so you'd better hop on that ship before it leaves the port."

"Thank you for reminding me," Geddy grumbles. Thinking about what it would take for him to have a child exhausts him, and he melts into the couch like his bones have disappeared. "How did Neil know to set you up with me, anyway? Have you always been into guys or is this new for you?"

Alex chuckles as though remembering something. "It's kind of a funny story. A few years ago, Neil invited me to his Christmas party. There was lots of alcohol, and I, of course, imbibed—looking back, it was probably too much."

Geddy can just tell this story's going into second-hand embarrassment territory.

Alex is already laughing, so that bodes well. "Anyway, one thing led to another and I ended up sort of kissing Neil."

"Sort of?"

"Okay, there was no 'sort of' about it. There was tongue involved."

"Yours or his?"

"It's sort of a blur."

"Again with the 'sort of'?" Geddy laughs. "So how did Neil respond to this?"

"He gave me that scolding dad look and just shook his head like it was pretty much what he expected."

"I'm disappointed I missed that."

"Were you out of town?"

"No, I usually visit my parents on the holidays. And, of course, they subject me to the whole 'why haven't you found a nice girl and settled down yet' spiel. I feel like, if they haven't figured it out by now, I just shouldn't tell them." Geddy doesn't want to dwell on that, so he switches subjects. "How do you know Neil?"

"We play on the same golf course."

"You golf?"

"Yeah, it's relaxing. There's nothing like it. Just you alone against the course. No teammates. No bad calls. Do you play?"

"Uh, no, I could never really get past the clothes. Is it part of the dress code to wear hues slightly more luminous than a bursting supernova?"

Alex snorts. "Because you're such a slave to fashion. John Lennon called; he wants his glasses back."

Geddy finds a strange, deep, dark part of him actually likes Alex's playful ribbing. Maybe it _has_ been too long since he's had a date. "Say what you will, but at least I don't have to wear colors found in tacky neon signs."

"And that soul patch screams 'mid-life crisis,'" Alex continues.

"Why don't I just wear a sign that says 'too ugly to live'?"

"Hey, being ugly and making poor fashion choices are two totally different things," Alex says with a wink, and, holy shit, was that flirting? Is Alex flirting with him? Geddy doesn't have time to ponder that, because Alex segues into a different topic, almost like he's trying to cover up any evidence of flirtation. "Neil is very disappointed and appalled with us for doing this, by the way."

"Is he gonna ground us? Send us to our room without dinner?"

"I hope not, because this macaroni is gonna be pretty fantastic."

It turns out that Alex wasn't embellishing his cooking skills, which Geddy learns first-hand when the food's ready. "God, this is amazing," he says with his mouth full. "I am so glad you're here all week."

Alex chuckles, sounding pleased with himself as he fetches Geddy a bottle from the fridge. "Hey, can I have one of your beers?"

"You're my pretend live-in boyfriend. You can do whatever you want."

"I haven't been someone's boyfriend in over twenty years," Alex says, dropping onto the couch beside Geddy and handing him a cold beer. "Have the rules changed?"

"I wasn't aware there were rules."

Alex makes an amused noise. "Yeah, look who I'm asking: Mr. Bustling Social Life."

"At least I've had a date in the last twenty years."

"I was married!" Alex protests, his mouth full.

"Which ended in divorce, so, y'know, stones and glass houses and all that."

Alex chuckles and settles back against the couch. "I guess neither one of us is really good at this. I got married when I was barely out of my twenties. Somewhere along the way we just... I dunno, certain colors had faded and levels had fallen. After so many years, I guess that happens, but since I wasn't home often enough, we decided it would be better to separate. The kids were old enough to understand, and it's not like we stopped loving each other. We just didn't wanna be married anymore. But once we agreed to get divorced, it was like... we kind of rediscovered our respect for each other, so that was weird and made me feel a hell of a lot guiltier than I wanted to." He chuckles despite the somber story. "But Charlene seemed to have everything in her life planned out. She wasn't a very impulsive person, and as time went on that felt stifling to me. Life held no mystery or hidden potential. No chance to say, 'what if?' I need that spontaneity. I need someone who's gonna look at me one night and say, 'hey, we should do something crazy,' y'know?"

Geddy nods. He feels like he should offer up something personal here since Alex exposed a raw nerve himself. "I don't have a divorce story," he says with a shrug.

Alex laughs. "I didn't tell you all that 'cause I wanted to get some dark secret out of you."

"Then why?"

"'Cause you're easy to talk to."

Geddy smiles and absently plucks at the label on his beer bottle. "I have this nagging fear that my mother prefers my brother to me. She would never admit it, of course, but there's something in her voice that changes when she talks about him. He's happily married with two children, and he's a partner in a small, successful law firm. He's fulfilling all her dreams, and I'm the screw-up. You know, I actually almost got married just because I wanted her to be proud of me?"

"Married to a woman?"

"How else would I do it?" Geddy says with a bitter-tasting dryness in his mouth. "Anyway, it was after Christmas one year, and I had to listen to my mother brag about Allan's immense house and beautiful family and how everything's going so fucking great for him. So I went home and got drunk and called my friend Nancy. I asked her to marry me just for show. My parents would be ecstatic that I finally found someone—hers, too—but we'd really only be roommates who pretend to be married. She could bring home whoever she wanted. Just pretend like we're a happy couple whenever I have to visit my parents."

Alex snickers. "I hope she talked you out of it."

"Oh yeah, absolutely."

"You have a disturbing amount of experience with fake relationships."

Geddy laughs. "I guess so. That probably says something very distressing about me."

"I just think it says you wanna be with somebody. And maybe you feel a filial obligation to be successful for your parents' sake." Geddy lifts an eyebrow, and Alex adds, "I'm your pretend live-in boyfriend, so I get to psychoanalyze you."

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

"I distinctly remember you saying I could do whatever I want."

"Within reason," Geddy says, but he really doesn't mind.

* * *

The next morning, Geddy wakes up to find Alex sitting on the foot of the bed and grinning like it isn't an ungodly hour in the morning. Geddy shuts his aching eyes, desperate for a few more blissful moments of sleep.

"Good morning!" Alex chirps, and he is way too fucking upbeat for nine a.m.

Geddy groans and buries his face into the pillow. Maybe if he concentrates hard enough he can make Alex go away.

"It's time for breakfast."

"I don't care."

"It's the most important meal of the day," Alex says, like he's offended. "Lucky for you, I'm obsessed with pancakes, so I came up with the perfect pancake recipe. You got any cake flour?"

Geddy groans louder. "I think we need to lay down some house rules."

"Rules, rules, rules," Alex says mockingly, and Geddy can just _tell_ he's rolling his eyes. "So I guess that's a no on the cake flour, huh? What about eggs? French toast? What do you even eat for breakfast?"

"Coffee," Geddy grumbles into the pillow.

"Unacceptable." Alex pulls off the comforter, and he's really lucky Geddy doesn't sleep naked. "C'mon, I'll whip up something that'll make you reconsider your moratorium on breakfast."

Geddy decides the easiest course of action here is to give in to Alex's childlike excitement, so he wearily slings his legs over the edge of the bed and rubs the sleep from his eyes. "Fine. I'm up."

By the time Geddy's done freshening up in the bathroom, Alex has already prepared steaming mugs of coffee for both of them. Geddy sits at the table and risks a sip. The flavor is smooth and sweet. "This is good. What'd you put in it?"

"Vanilla and brown sugar," Alex says, puttering around the kitchen.

"Oh." Geddy takes another sip and gazes out the window at the city below. There are plenty of cars driving around down there, and Geddy wonders how people can possibly function this early in the morning.

"What time do you normally get up?" Alex asks.

"Um, about two hours from now."

"Oh, shit. Sorry."

"It's okay." Geddy really doesn't mind, but it's not like he wants to make a habit of waking up before ten. He's never had someone share his space before. Awkward one-night stands, sure, but they never woke him up and made him breakfast like they lived here, too. The extra blankets have been carefully folded over the top of the couch, and Geddy's hit with a pang of appreciation that Alex isn't a slob.

Geddy's just starting to wake up when Alex plops down two plates of banana-cinnamon pancakes on the table. "You don't have a lot of typical cooking ingredients, so I had to improvise," Alex explains. He fetches a bowl from the kitchen and sets it down. It's filled with some sort of creamy white icing. This is all very strange. Geddy hasn't had breakfast with someone in quite a while.

"That's probably because I don't cook."

Alex shakes his head like he's dismayed with Geddy's life choices. "How are you even alive?" He picks up a spoon and drizzles some of the icing over his plate of pancakes.

"So is this your 'perfect' pancake recipe?"

"Nah, you didn't have cake flour. But they're still good, I promise."

Geddy decides to take Alex's word for it. The icing is sweet and sticky, the cakes perfectly fluffy. Geddy makes a noise of contentment at which Alex smiles. "Good, huh?"

Geddy nods. "What made you decide to become a pilot instead of a chef?"

"The excitement," Alex says simply. "That, and I got my pilot's license first. And, y'know, the money."

"Makes sense. Any plans for today?"

Alex takes a bite. "Gonna spend some time with the kids. Am I correct in assuming you'll be off living the exciting life of a music producer?"

Geddy grins at him. "Now you're catching on. I told you you wouldn't have to spend much time with me."

"Great, 'cause I can't stand you," Alex jokes.

"Do you always make breakfast for people you can't stand?"

"Only when they let me shack up with them."

"You really could've phrased that better."

"Yeah, probably," Alex says in a way that suggests he doesn't care. "But I like making you blush, so either control your face or get used to my suggestive turns of phrase." Alex smirks at him, and Geddy feels a warm energy spreading through his chest, filling him up.

* * *

Alex returns to the apartment later that evening after the sun's disappeared from the sky. "Honey, I'm home!" he sing-songs, shaking off his coat and hanging it up. The lights are dimmed, the TV is on, and there are take-out boxes on the coffee table. It doesn't feel like Alex is intruding on Geddy's life, rather, that he's a welcome part of it, that this could be his home, too.

Geddy's stretched out on the couch, his feet kicked up and a notebook computer in his lap. He doesn't seem to notice Alex's arrival, too engrossed in whatever's on the computer screen. "Are you looking at dirty pictures?" Alex asks, moving to get a look at the screen.

Geddy jumps and shuts the notebook lid as though containing a small fire. "Alex! When did you get in?"

"Just now." Alex casts a suspicious glance at the computer. "You were looking at porn, weren't you?" Geddy's face reddens. "It's okay if you were. I'm not judging. This is a judgement-free zone"—Alex gestures in a way that's supposed to indicate the space around the two of them—"but you gotta share. Them's the rules."

"I thought you hated rules."

"Not when they're my rules." Alex grins and notes the minute changes in Geddy's expression. A worried crease of the brow, the way his Adam's apple bobs slightly when he swallows, the way his eyes go wide behind his glasses. Geddy looks like this every now and then, like he's trapped, and Alex doesn't know what to make of it. "Whatever, I'm just messing with you," Alex says, moving away to give Geddy room to compose himself.

"Um, dinner's in the fridge, if—if you want it. Since you cooked last night, I figured tonight was my turn."

Alex opens the refrigerator door and frowns at Geddy's lack of kitchen-related initiative. "Cooking and ordering Chinese food are not the same thing, Ged. You know that, right?"

Geddy shrugs. "Food's food."

Alex clutches his chest in mock horror. "Blasphemy!" He opens one of the take-out boxes and peers inside. "Although, I can't say no to orange chicken. Let me rinse off and I'll be back." He glances over his shoulder at Geddy, who's already opened the notebook again, the screen reflected in his glasses. Alex doesn't see anything particularly dirty, but who knows?

In the shower, Alex has his hand wrapped around his cock as he slumps against the tile and calls up fantasies of what Geddy might look like on his knees or bent over the bed or lying half-crazed with need underneath him. He wonders how it would feel to be buried in him, to take him inside and rock him until they're both sticky and sated. Or what kind of noises Geddy could make: soft and quiet whimpers or loud, breathy cries. Alex doesn't have to think very long before he's shuddering and shaking apart, feeling both satiated and ashamed as his orgasm splatters on the tile.

He's thought about broaching the idea with Geddy, just making some sort of basic middle-school overture when they're sitting together, like draping his arm over the back of the couch, or getting a hand underneath Geddy's hair and caressing the back of his neck, or even just attempting to hold his hand. But that will probably end in humilating rejection or terrible mockery, and Alex doesn't want to lose the easy, casual friendship they've got going here. But he can't figure out how to get from where they are now to somewhere else. The notion of building a relationship seems exhausting and daunting. He doesn't know how he ever managed it before. He'd been younger and slimmer and more naïve then, which probably counted for a hell of a lot.

When Alex heads back to the living room, Geddy's still looking at that damn computer. But from this vantage point, he can see the screen very clearly, and there's nothing but boring ol' text on a white screen. "No dirty pictures?" Alex says, sounding disappointed, and Geddy jumps again, slamming the notebook lid shut. "Okay, what's the deal? I know you're not always this jumpy. What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Geddy says, his cheeks flushing red as he tries to hide the computer underneath the coffee table.

"No judgement zone, remember?"

Geddy considers this for a moment. "You'll laugh."

"Only if it's funny." Geddy frowns at him. "Alright, I promise I won't laugh, even if it's funny." He walks into the kitchen and takes his food out of the fridge. "C'mon, we're friends, right?"

Geddy's quiet for a bit, then he says, "It's a fantasy baseball mailing list. People share their team rosters and talk about players' stats and stuff. I warned you it was dumb."

"Baseball, huh?" Alex drops onto the couch beside him. Geddy's t-shirt is one size too big, and Alex's gaze can't help but snag on his wiry arms for a moment too long. "I used to play when I was in high school."

Geddy has a way of looking at Alex when he's genuinely interested in something he's said. Alex could live a hundred years and still never get totally used to the way that feels like firecrackers in his chest. "You did? What position?"

 _Nah, too easy_. "Third base. I never had the hand-eye coordination required for batting. And I've been told I throw like a girl."

Geddy's trying-not-to-laugh face is a thing to be treasured. He's even cuter when he lets a slight chuckle slip past his lips. "Now I don't feel so bad."

"Do you play or just admire from afar?"

"I try to play... with varying degrees of success. I guess it depends on what your definition of 'success' is. I play a lot more tennis, though."

Alex snorts. "And you gave me shit for my golf clothes?" He's absolutely not thinking about Geddy in tennis shorts. Nope. Not at all.

"At least tennis clothes come in colors that don't clash with the free world."

"Hey, you gotta dress to be seen. Those stray golf carts can kill."

Geddy looks like he's on the verge of laughing, which Alex takes as a good sign. "So how come you don't play baseball anymore?" Geddy asks while Alex chews over a bit of cold orange chicken. "Did they kick you off the team for eating the relief pitcher?" Alex loves the little smirk at the corner of Geddy's mouth when he cracks a joke about him.

"You're just jealous 'cause you were a total nerd in high school."

"What makes you think that?"

"Um, dude, your mirror works, right? Of course you were a dweeb." Geddy opens his mouth to protest, but Alex says, "But I'm a dweeb, too. I spent two hours today playing Dungeons and Dragons with Adrian."

"That doesn't count. Parents have to do a lot of things with their kids they don't enjoy."

"Who do you think introduced him to the game?" Alex laughs. "My character is Lerxst the Necromancer, level 15."

"Suddenly I'm not feeling so bad about my fantasy baseball obsession."

"Hey, hey, what'd I say about this being a judgement-free zone?"

"I thought that only applied to me. At least I got all my nerdiness out in high school. You seem to have done the opposite."

"You're on an online mailing list," Alex reminds him. "Only techie dweebs know how to use those."

"It's a mailing list for sports."

"Then I guess it cancels out. So which of us is a bigger dork? Let's see, you've got the mailing list, those questionable glasses, mid-life crisis facial hair, the tennis shorts—"

"How did you turn a sport into a strike against me?" Geddy looks irritated and amused at the same time. "That's bullshit."

Alex shrugs. "I call 'em like I see 'em."

"Okay, so you've got the Dungeons and Dragons"—Geddy begins ticking Alex's flaws off on his fingers—"the rainbow of golf clothes, a couple extra pounds, and apparently you throw like a girl. Seems like we're about even. Although it's unfair for you to count my glasses against me. I kind of need them to, y'know, see. I feel like you could cut me half a point's slack there."

"Well, you picked the most cartoonishly hilarious glasses you could find, so I think that earns you that half a point right back."

"I've got a real problem with your grading system."

"I've got a real problem with"—Alex has got nothing here—"your face."

"That's the best you've got, huh?" Geddy says with a mischievous half-smile that Alex wants to kiss right off his mouth.

* * *

The next day is... complicated. For one thing, Alex is in the shower when his mobile phone, currently residing on the coffee table, begins to ring. Geddy knocks on the bathroom door, tries not to think about the fact that Alex is naked in there.

"Yeah?"

Geddy opens the door just a crack so he doesn't have to shout through the door. Steam pours out and sticks to Geddy's face. "Um, your phone's ringing."

"So answer it, ding-dong," Alex says over the hiss of the shower spray.

"Um, are you sure about that?" Geddy sneaks a quick, half-second glance and is rewarded with the foggy, blurry, flesh-colored silhouette of Alex from behind the shower stall door. Immediately, Geddy looks away, blood boiling underneath his cheeks and surging to his groin. He makes a tragic sound he's going to deny making later and squeezes his eyes shut.

"Yeah, just take a message. Or don't. It's your funeral."

If Geddy's going to answer, he should probably get over there now, because at some point the phone will stop ringing. He shuts the door and picks up the phone. In the years to come, Geddy will occasionally think back to this moment and wonder how his life would have shaken out if he'd just minded his own damn business.

The voice on the other end is young and male, and the greeting of "Dad?" cements the assumption that this is one of Alex's kids.

Geddy scrambles to find his voice. "Um, no, your, uh, your dad's in the shower. But I can take a message, if you want."

"Oh." There's a couple seconds of silence that seem to stretch on forever, and they're particularly potent because silence after an "oh" is never a good sign. "So you're dad's boyfriend?"

If Geddy had been drinking something right now, he definitely would have spit it out, or at least choked on it. This whole living together arrangement was supposed to be a joke; why would Alex tell his kids otherwise? Why would this kid think Geddy is Alex's boyfriend? Has Alex been talking about him to his kids?

"What? Is that what he said?" Geddy asks in an embarrassingly high tone of voice.

"No, I just kinda figured. Are you guys, like, dating or something?"

Geddy is saved from actually having to answer that by Alex, who steps out of the bathroom in a towel and a robe, gesturing for Geddy to hand him the phone. His hair is plastered to his face in wet strands, and he is worryingly close to being naked. Geddy can't help how his eyes just sort of slide down Alex's body.

"Um," he says into the phone, "it's... it's complicated, I guess. Here's your dad." Geddy hands over the phone and—there's no other word for it—flees to the safety of the balcony.

So there's that.

The second complication of the day comes when Alex slides open the porch door and joins Geddy on the balcony. He's fully dressed now, but there is no forgetting the vague suggestion of what's underneath those clothes. "So, uh, I was s'posed to spend today with Adrian, but some girl he likes asked him out, so it looks like I've got some free time. Would you, uh, wanna hang out?"

"With you?" Only after it's out of his mouth does Geddy realize how that sounds.

"That's the idea," Alex says with his typical guileless smile. "Y'know they re-released Star Wars? Special edition, Ged. All new visual effects. Don't tell me you're not psyched."

"Because I'm a nerd, right? That's the joke?"

"Yep!" Alex grins, and Geddy doesn't think he'll ever learn how to say no to that.

The theater is dark and crowded, but they find decent seats in the back near the corner. Alex commandeers the popcorn tub the size of buckets that pioneer women used to bathe their children. Geddy takes dainty sips from his gargantuan soda. He wishes he knew what Alex was thinking, and why Alex has been talking about him to his son. Maybe it's not a big deal. Maybe he just told the kid he's staying with a friend. Why, then, would he assume they're dating? Does Alex's son know about his father's interest in dating men? Did Alex say something to give the impression that he likes Geddy in more than a friendly way?

Holy shit, what if this is a date? Alex clearly put thought into this and might actually be trying to date Geddy. Geddy risks a subtle glance at Alex, curious if his face might give anything away. Alex just offers him the popcorn bucket. "Want some?" he says, crunching loudly.

Geddy takes a handful.

"So are you skipping out on work today or what?" Alex asks, stealing a sip of soda.

"No, I'm free for the day."

"What would you have done if my plans hadn't changed?"

Geddy shrugs. "I'd probably be here. Just by myself."

"Jesus, that's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. Who even goes to the movies alone?"

"Lots of people." Geddy gestures to the broad expanse of filled seats before them.

"Who have no friends."

"You don't know that."

"Nobody goes to the movies alone because they want to," Alex says, munching on some popcorn.

"That's not true. Sometimes you wanna sit alone in the dark and escape."

"Man, Neil didn't say anything about how depressing you can be."

"It's not one of my selling points," Geddy says. "But out of curiosity, what _did_ he say about me?"

Alex makes his squinty thinking face. "He said you're surprisingly witty, thoughtful, intelligent, and laid-back with a zest for life."

Geddy lifts an eyebrow. "I thought Neil wrote _non_ -fiction."

Alex rolls his eyes and takes another handful of popcorn as the lights dim and the previews start.

They don't talk during the movie, save for the occasional moment when Geddy bemoans the lack of proper science or the shoddy design of the Death Star. It's a comfortable semi-silence, and they sit there in the dark, sharing an armrest and overpriced theater snacks. Every so often, Geddy will catch a sidelong glimpse of Alex and see the way the onscreen explosions reflect across his eyes like shooting stars.

Geddy's last few movie dates didn't work out this well. Most of the guys tried to fondle him during the film, their hands rubbing over his thighs and inching toward his crotch. Geddy, not a huge fan of public displays of affection, would shift in his seat and cross his legs, all but shouting that he wasn't interested. But apparently his dates thought people only go to the movies so they can grope each other in the darkness instead of paying attention to the huge flickering screen in front of them.

Although, this time he wouldn't mind if Alex leaned over and took Geddy's earlobe between his teeth and murmured all of the dirty things he'd like to do with him.

The sun is beginning to set when they wander out after the movie. They loiter outside the theater, and Alex digs into the pockets of his jeans, his hand emerging with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?"

"Just smoke in the car."

"I don't want the smell in the upholstery."

"But you're happy to blow your carcinogens down my throat," Geddy teases.

Alex opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but he stops himself, smirking wryly. He chuckles at joke only he's privy to and shakes his head. "Want one?" he asks, offering Geddy the pack.

"Sure." Geddy flips a cigarette into his mouth and lights up. Alex does the same, inhaling deeply and blowing it out in one long breath. Geddy doesn't smoke as often as he used to, but every now and then he gives into its siren song. His main vice is drinking, though he mostly imbibes wine to trick himself that his descent into alcoholism is classy.

Geddy stares out at the sea of parked cars in the lot. "I feel like one half of Jay and Silent Bob."

Alex laughs a sound Geddy feels in his chest. "Which half? You don't really have the facial hair to be Silent Bob."

"Or the girth. So there's a point for you."

"You're not particularly silent either."

Geddy takes a long drag. "Maybe we're more of a Beavis and Butt-head type of duo. Which makes you Beavis, because, y'know, the hair, and you've obviously never said no to a plate of nachos."

"Shut up, bunghole," Alex snipes in a dead-on impression of Beavis.

Geddy laughs. "Oh, _of course_ you can do the voice."

"I'm a man of many talents." One of which includes sexually frustrating the hell out of Geddy. Alex takes a puff off the cigarette with a degree of uncertainty. "Can I ask you something?"

"Well, you just did, so, yeah, you probably can."

"Ugh, smart-ass," Alex says, rolling his eyes. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to get dinner. I know a great place not too far from here. They make a pretty orgasmic chicken broccolini."

"There is nothing orgasmic about broccoli, and—" Geddy pulls back to focus on the meat of what Alex just said. "Wait, is this, like, a date?"

"It's purely hypothetical now since you made that smart-ass remark earlier."

Geddy glowers at Alex over his glasses. "Dick."

But Alex isn't listening to him, instead staring at something or someone in the parking lot. Alex cracks a small laugh and says, "Oh my God, no way."

"What?"

"I'm gonna embarrass the crap out of my son," Alex says, stubbing out his cigarette and moving for the theater entrance. Geddy follows him, immensely confused until he realizes what's going on, and then it's far too late to retreat and pretend like he doesn't know Alex. "Adrian!" Alex greets his teenaged son, who has apparently brought a date along with him, a brunette who Geddy suspects is wearing the same expression of discomfort that he is right now. "Funny running into you here, huh?"

Adrian is blushing in the way only a teenager being humiliated by a parent can. "Oh my God, Dad. This is so embarrassing."

"I know, but I think we can handle it."

Geddy really doubts that.

"So this is Brooke?" Alex extends his hand to the poor girl experiencing some serious second-hand embarrassment. She accepts the handshake, because that's what you do, but she's wearing a forced, uncomfortable smile, and Geddy feels for her. "It's nice to meet you. Adrian talks about you a lot."

Adrian groans through his teeth, as though he wants nothing more than to tear off his skin and fly into the sun to escape this conversation. "What are you even doing here?" he asks. "Are you guys on a date or something?"

Why is this happening to them? Geddy hates his life. He really does.

Alex chuckles and says, "No, we're just friends. Friends see movies together all the time. It's the people who see movies by themselves you gotta worry about. They're the real weirdos." He winks and nudges Geddy in the side with an elbow.

"Oh my God," Adrian says, shaking his head, perfectly encapsulating Geddy's current state of mind. "My dad is so embarrassing."

"I think he's funny," Brooke offers, trying to be helpful.

"Well, somebody has to," Alex says.

Geddy looks at Alex and asks, "Don't you think you've embarrassed the poor kid enough for one day?"

Alex makes his squinty thinking face again. "Hmm, I guess," he says, like this is some terrible hardship. "I'll let you two get to your movie. Brooke, it was nice meeting you. Adrian"—he claps a hand on his son's shoulder—"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure," Adrian mumbles, taking Brooke's hand and attempting to escape the conversation at the tail end. "See you."

Alex chuckles to himself as he and Geddy walk back to the car. "You're a horrible person," Geddy points out, because he thinks Alex is entirely oblivious to this fact. "'Adrian talks about you a lot.' Jeez, that hurt to watch."

"Seventeen-year-old boys are rarely forthcoming," Alex says sagely. "So I gave him a little nudge along." He unlocks the car and peers at Geddy over the hood. "You want dinner?"

"I thought that was 'purely hypothetical.'"

"Well, I'm hungry. But you're more than welcome to watch me eat if you wanna keep being a smart-ass."

Geddy smiles. "Better than being a dumbass."

Over dinner they share light-hearted, easy conversation while snow falls outside the window and people pass by, and all the while something is growing between them, something that feels warm and draws Geddy to Alex in a way unlike anything he's ever experienced, and Geddy wishes he could freeze this moment and live in it forever.

The third complication comes when Geddy is unlocking the apartment door. Alex leans his arm against the top of the doorframe and says, "So I guess this is the part of the date where I kiss you."

Geddy wants to ask him if he knows how insane that sounds, but what comes out of his mouth is, "I suppose you would, if this was a date. Which it absolutely wasn't, because we're 'just friends,' remember?"

Alex lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, that? It's only been about a year since the divorce. I dunno how Adrian would react to finding out his father's dating. And, y'know, you're a guy, so that makes it a little... complicated, I guess."

It shouldn't hurt, but it does, because Geddy has run the gamut of closeted queers who recoil when presented with the opportunity to actually touch another man. He'd fallen in love years ago with one who was more remarkable than most, who could actually kiss him and fuck him with only an occasional bout of homosexual panic, but Geddy had to go and fuck it all up by asking him to move in. Somehow, the idea of moving in with another guy in a domestic-like way had been too much for him to take, and they separated, with Geddy wordlessly discarded down the line.

It's a wound that still hurts even now, which Geddy suspects is mostly his own fault for picking at the scabs on particularly lonely nights. But that failed relationship has colored every subsequent one, has buried an aspect of his confidence he no longer knows how to access. Some faint spark of clarity tells him he should push this, but Geddy has learned what happens when you ask too many questions: you get answers you don't want.

So instead of pushing, Geddy just says, "Oh, okay," and opens the door.

They don't talk about it again.

* * *

Alex doesn't understand what he did wrong. Geddy seemed like he might have been flirting with him, might have wanted the same things that've been running through Alex's mind for the last few days. His teasing feels like it comes from the same shy, flirtatious place that Alex's does, but after Geddy's swift rejection, Alex realizes he has severely misread their situation. Geddy is attracted to men, just not to Alex.

It's not like Alex can really blame him. For one thing, Alex has gotten fat. Not obese, but still, he's not going to be modeling swimsuits any time soon. He's certainly not the slim, beautiful blond he'd been twenty-five years ago. Also, his hair is thinning, or at least he suspects it is. The length is still relatively impressive for a man his age, but it feels less substantial somehow. And he's got a pretty prominent bald spot that seems to grow every time he looks at it, like something out of a horror movie. With these physical flaws on full display, it's no surprise Geddy would shy away from Alex's overtures.

Alex misses being in love, being loved. He wants the deep kisses and urgent sex and private jokes and the way he used to feel when he was a little less broken. He wants all of this with Geddy, wants to win his heart and build a life. But Alex hasn't been single in over twenty years; he thought he'd earned himself a lifetime of not having to break the ice anymore. How do people do this?

At the very least, he wants to apologize to Geddy, but Geddy has made himself scarce. So Alex sits on the couch the next evening, awaiting Geddy's return home. He busies his anxious hands and mind with making a pan of lasagna, a peace offering to smooth over whatever he said or did to make Geddy avoid him. Because he's been gone an awfully long time, and Alex has the sinking feeling Geddy's decided this whole thing is just too awkward and complicated to deal with.

Alex knows there's probably a perfectly good reason why Geddy isn't home yet. He's smart enough to know that, yet his brain chooses to fixate on the worst possible options. This wouldn't be the first time he's unwittingly fucked things up, tripped some emotional landmine that ended up blowing his legs off.

Geddy still isn't home at ten o'clock, and Alex is on the verge of panicking. He glances at his mobile phone and considers calling Geddy just to make sure he's okay. The snow is thick tonight, and maybe Geddy's stranded—or worse. But if Geddy's car is stuck in a snowy bank somewhere, he probably would have called Neil—or anyone else—for help. And if something worse has happened, well, Alex isn't going to get an answer anyway. Also, there are plenty of reasons why Geddy might not answer his phone, so, really, what's Alex's plan here? He looks through Geddy's collection of Mystery Science Theater tapes and puts one on to distract himself from the scurry of panic in his head.

Geddy finally walks through the door a few minutes after midnight. His hair is dusted with flecks of snow, and he shakes off his coat. "There you are," Alex says. "I was wondering where you were. Thought I might have to send out a search party. I made dinner if you're hungry."

Geddy smiles at him, soothing the twisting worry and embarrassment inside of Alex. "Thanks. I should've told you I'd be gone most of the day. It just slipped my mind, I guess. I'm still getting used to having someone else around."

"It's fine. I was just worried. You could've been... mauled, or something."

"Mauled?"

"Y'know, by a bear."

"Are there bears in Toronto?"

"There've gotta be, right? I mean, there's the zoo. I guess moose are more common here than bears. And they've got those antlers, y'know."

"Well, here I am, safe and unmauled." Geddy smiles again, and Alex decides not to bring up last night, because Geddy doesn't seem to be holding it against him.

Geddy retreats into the bathroom for a quick shower, and he emerges wearing a pair of boxers and a faded Led Zeppelin concert t-shirt. His long, spindly limbs are exposed, his damp hair spilling past his shoulders, and Alex tries to moderate his own roving eyes. He needs to stop falling in love with Geddy, because it's only going to hurt.

"You, uh, you like Zeppelin?" It's probably possible for Alex to sound more like an awkward, inexperienced dweeb with zero game, but it's hard to imagine how.

"Yeah, I saw them live three times. Once in Toronto, 1971, and then two more shows in Vancouver in '75."

"I think we might've been at the same show in Toronto, unless they played back-to-back dates." The world is full of small coincidences that people lump together and call destiny. "Jimmy Page was my hero."

Geddy chuckles and sits beside him on the couch, his legs tucked underneath him. "I always thought John Paul Jones was the unsung hero of the band."

"You're a bass guy, eh?"

"It's an instrument most people overlook, but it's so important to the overall rhythm and feel of a song. Everybody wants to be in the limelight, y'know, as a guitarist or a drummer or a singer, but nobody wants to be the bass player. I guess I like things that people don't notice at first. Guitars are loud and flashy and catch everyone's attention, but the bass anchors everything, the default nucleus from which the rest radiates. Besides, you don't really see bands letting the bass player do a solo for ten minutes."

They settle in together and watch another movie, having seemingly recaptured their light, relaxed normalcy. In fact, Geddy's so relaxed he ends up falling asleep against Alex's shoulder. The creases in his brow are smoothed away, making him look younger somehow. Alex watches him for a long moment, overwhelmed by love and memorizing the way his face looks in warm, liquid sleep. There's a wholeness here in Geddy's slumped form, in the sounds of his quiet breaths, in the way he's fallen asleep here like Alex is part of his life now. Alex could make Geddy happy. He has an eager, open heart, ready to love and be loved. Alex carefully traces his fingers over Geddy's exposed collarbone.

Geddy makes a sleepy, groaning noise, and Alex jerks his hand away. But Geddy doesn't shove him off or make a joke about how Alex is being creepy. He seems dead asleep, so when Geddy mumbles Alex's name, it comes as a surprise. Alex freezes, trapping his breath in his lungs, and his own heartbeat is thunderous in his ears. "Don't leave," Geddy mumbles. His voice is cracked and thick with sleep. "I don't have anyone. Don't go away."

"I'm right here," Alex says, soft and quiet, burying his nose in Geddy's hair and inhaling the clean scent of his shampoo.

He doesn't leave.

* * *

Geddy wakes up the next morning on the couch. The early afternoon sun shimmers in slanted shadows through the blinds, and Geddy takes a moment to collect himself. He's covered in a blanket that wasn't there before. He doesn't remember falling asleep, and the couch is where Alex sleeps, so he's understandably disoriented by this new arrangement.

On the coffee table is a note, torn off of the notepad Geddy keeps in the kitchen. Alex's jaunty handwriting is scrawled on the paper, and Geddy rubs his bleary eyes until the words come into focus:

_Sorry, didn't wanna wake you up. Did you know you talk in your sleep? It's kinda cute._ _P.S., I went to the store yesterday while you were out and picked up some things for your morning coffee. Pour your coffee into the blender, add a tablespoon of coconut oil, a tablespoon of butter, and blend that sucker. Just trust me. It's magical._

Fifteen minutes later, Geddy discovers that it is indeed magical.

* * *

Alex finds the wine that evening while he's making dinner. Geddy has a kitchen cabinet stocked full of whites and reds, and Alex lets out a low whistle as he grabs one of the bottles. "You've been holding out on me!"

"What're you talking about?" Geddy asks from the couch, his feet kicked up on the coffee table while he channel-surfs.

"The wine, dude! Why the hell have we been drinking Molson's this whole time?"

Geddy practically leaps off of the couch and rushes into the kitchen where Alex is attempting to open one of the bottles. "No, you can't just open them!"

"Do I have to say a prayer first or something?"

Geddy snatches the bottle out of Alex's hands like it's a small child suffering improper handling. He takes a glance at the label and balks. "This is thirty-three dollars a bottle!"

"What's the point of buying wine if you're not gonna drink it?" Alex asks, and Geddy stammers for an answer. "Lemme guess, you're the kind of guy who buys action figures and never takes them out of the box because they're _collector's items_ , right?"

Geddy thinks that's an entirely unfair criticism and scowls at him, but it's probably more of a pout, because Alex looks amused by whatever Geddy's face is doing.

"Look, it's a special occasion, right? Tomorrow's our last day doing this whole fake-roommate thing," Alex says, and Geddy feels the planet lurch beneath his feet. Is it almost the end of the week already? How could this have happened so quickly? "One bottle tonight, one more tomorrow, then I'll be gone and you can go back to hoarding your wine like Gollum with the One Ring."

A flicker of a smile tugs at Geddy's mouth, but it's dampened by the realization that, in less than forty-eight hours, Alex will be gone. Geddy has wasted so much time twisted up in his own anxieties that he hasn't fully appreciated the moments he's spent with Alex. Time doesn't stop for anyone, no matter how much you wish it would.

Geddy opens a bottle of 1978 Musigny for them to share over dinner. They eat on the couch and watch some shitty made-for-TV movie that Alex dubs over with his own creative dialogue and stupid voices that make Geddy laugh until his head aches. The wine has warmed his blood and toasted his veins, and by the time the movie's over Geddy finds himself leaning against the solid warmth of Alex's arm. Alex doesn't seem to mind the closeness. He looks like he belongs here on Geddy's couch, drinking his wine and seamlessly integrated into Geddy's life.

Alex's shoulder is warm and inviting, so that's where Geddy's head ends up. He gazes at Alex, trying to find flaws in this man he's desperately in love with. If he can find an imperfection, some oddity in his features, Geddy can call upon his inner perfectionist and magnify the flaw grotesquely in his mind.

Alex gives him a curious look. "You know you're staring, right?"

Geddy turns his head to face the TV, his cheeks boiling hot. "Sorry."

"You're drunk," Alex says with an inebriated giggle.

"So are you."

Alex laughs. "Yeah, it's great."

They sit there in a comfortable, uncomplicated silence for a moment or two. "I didn't say anything stupid last night while I was asleep, did I?" Geddy wonders, because he thinks this subject ought to be addressed.

"Nah, just the usual nocturnal ravings of how handsome I am," Alex says with a twist of a smile, so Geddy's assuming he's joking. Fuck, he really hopes Alex is joking.

"Oh, the usual." Geddy grabs his wineglass off the coffee table and swallows the last of it. "You'll call, right? After tomorrow, I mean. 'Cause we're friends, aren't we? People always say they'll keep in touch but they never do, y'know. Like, after high school, you promise you'll stay in touch but you just end up drifting apart, and those are s'posed to be your best friends, y'know. So what hope do the rest of us have?" He feels dopey and drunk, his thoughts getting scattered on the way out of his head.

"Don't worry, I won't let you go to the movies alone," Alex promises, though there's a faint hint of levity in his voice. "But have you ever thought about asking Neil? If he's invested enough in your life to set you up on blind dates, he ought'a sit through a movie or two with you."

Geddy shakes his head, which has found its way back on Alex's shoulder. "'S'not the same. He's got a family, y'know. He makes me feel less..." He spends a good handful of seconds searching his woozy brain for the proper word. "Substantial. 'Cause I don't have what he has. 'S'not his fault, just the way it is."

"You are so drunk," Alex marvels quietly with a smile.

"No, 'm not," Geddy mumbles into the warm cotton of Alex's t-shirt. He thinks about how hard he's fallen for Alex in just under a week, how Alex possesses an innate warmth that Geddy sees almost like a color coming off of him. Alex's presence in Geddy's life has brought about a splash of radiant blue in his dying, black-and-white world, and Geddy tries to tell him this, tries to tell Alex how he loves him from the core of his being, but what comes out instead is, "You're blue."

Alex snorts a laugh. "Oh, Spageddy," he sighs, rubbing soft circles over Geddy's back. This simple, silly nickname makes Geddy laugh so hard he can feel his own ribs vibrating in his torso, and his laughter is contagious enough to make Alex start in, too. Tonight they are lonely, drunken idiots, and Geddy tries to hold on to this moment as long as he can, but time is sand flowing through his fingers, unable to be captured.

"I wish you lived here," Geddy says when he can breathe again. "With me. But John wouldn't—I asked him, an' he freaked out an' went back to his ex-girlfriend. Broke my stupid heart." He laughs or maybe sobs; he can't tell what kind of noises are erupting like gunfire from his throat. "So maybe I'm not s'posed to live with anybody. Maybe I should just get a dog."

Alex sighs and eases his arm around Geddy's waist, holding him close, and Geddy thinks he could die right here and be okay with that. "Y'know, Neil said I'm afraid to be alone 'cause I don't know how to be. Alone, I mean."

"I know how to be alone," Geddy says. "I'm just tired of it."

* * *

Geddy ends up falling asleep on Alex again, but this time Alex decides he's not going to let Geddy sleep on the couch, because it's uncomfortable. Geddy's probably going to be hung over in the morning, and he definitely doesn't need the discomfort of peeling his face off leather. With great care not to disturb Geddy's slumber, Alex gets his arms under him and picks him up. He's heavier than he looks, but Alex manages to make it down the hall and deposit Geddy onto the bed.

Geddy's bedroom is modern and minimalist with soft grey walls. The large platform bed has a short, dark grey headboard and is covered in a fluffy white duvet with matching sheets and pillows. There are two night tables on either side of the bed, and while Alex is curious as to their contents he's not going to snoop. He is, however, going to stand here for a few moments while Geddy sleeps soundly. Alex can't help but wonder, had he said the right combination of words to elevate them from friends to something more, if they would have ended up in this bed together.

It's probably better that he doesn't say anything. There are so many ways for this to be a disaster. Maybe Neil is right, and Alex is clinging to Geddy out of a deeply-rooted fear of being alone. After all, he's been in the same relationship for more years than he's ever been single. Being on his own after more than twenty years of marriage is daunting and terrifying. Geddy has been lonely for a long time and is ready to be loved. But maybe Alex isn't ready to love in the way Geddy needs him to.

Alex drapes one half of the duvet over Geddy's sleeping form. Geddy hums a contented noise and murmurs something Alex can't quite catch. Alex lingers in the doorway for a minute, watching Geddy sleep, before he slips away into the glow of the living room.

* * *

The next afternoon, Neil calls while Alex is out. "How are you two lovebirds doing?" Neil asks with nary a trace of good humor.

Geddy almost forgot that this whole thing started as a prank on Neil, because it's begun to feel more like a colossal joke on Geddy himself. "Um, good?"

"Since today is Alex's last vacation day, I think it's apropos for us all to have dinner together. And I'm curious how you two get along in your natural habitat."

"We're not a nature documentary, Neil."

"You know what I mean. C'mon, you guys moved in together after barely getting to know one another. I wanna see the fissures, the cracks in your already tenuous relationship. Dinner and a show."

Geddy scowls, which is pointless because Neil can't see him over the phone. "You were the one who wanted us to get together. This might just be your fault."

"Hey, all I wanted you to do was go out on a date. You took this thing off the rails, for which I have absolutely zero responsibility."

"I can't believe you expect us to invite you to dinner after trashing our love."

"You mean your pretend 'let's pull a fast one on Neil' love? I know your tricks, Ged, and I am fully aware of what Alex is capable of."

Geddy sighs, because arguing with Neil never leads anywhere but frustration. "Alright, fine, you can come. I'll have Alex call you."

Shit, now he has to call Alex.

Alex answers the phone with an inhuman amount of enthusiasm, as though Geddy is the only person he'd ever want to talk to. "Hey, Ged, what's up?"

"So Neil wants to have dinner with us tonight at my apartment," Geddy says, mindlessly pacing the living room floor. "What're we gonna do?"

"Oh, I can stop by the store and pick up some stuff. How do you feel about Cajun chicken pasta—"

"Not food, idiot. I'm talking about us. Y'know, how Neil expects us to be an actual couple? If we tell him it was all a prank, you know how he'll get."

"All sanctimonious and acting like he knew the whole time?"

"Well, he's already doing that. So just imagine how much worse it'll be. Or he could go the opposite way and stop setting us up on dates."

"I thought that was the whole point. You hate blind dates."

"Yeah, well... I met you. So I guess they're not all bad..." Geddy sort of misses the inconvenience of corded phones, if only because he used to twirl the cord around his fingers when he was nervous. Now in this modern age he doesn't know what to do with his hands.

"Aww," Alex coos, and Geddy can hear the ridiculous smile in his voice. "You sure know how to make a guy blush."

"Shut up," Geddy grumbles, but he doesn't really mean it. "So what're we gonna do?"

"We could pretend to break up. At the end of the night, one of us could start an argument with the other and storm out. I guess it'd have to be me, 'cause you live there. Can't really storm out of your own place, y'know?"

"Yeah..." So this is it, then? One week of brand new, tender friendship that ends with a staged break-up? Until now, Geddy has avoided bringing up the messy details of their arrangement, because acknowledging that what they've been doing here is fake would turn it into a promise broken before it was ever made.

"Man, it's gonna be hard to pick a fight with you. Neil never mentioned how easy you are to get along with."

"Getting along with Neil isn't easy."

Alex laughs. "Understatement of the century."

Geddy thinks there's something he should say here, but he doesn't have the faintest idea of what it is. "I, um, I told Neil you'd call him, so you should probably do that."

"Alright. I'll pick up something I can cook, and I'll see ya soon!"

When Alex hangs up, Geddy digs into the wine cabinet and uncorks a 1959 Latour, because he has no idea how he's going to get through this without the help of alcohol.

Alex comes through the front door about thirty minutes later, shrugging out of his coat. "It's a little early to be drinkin'!" he says with a grin, because Geddy's wineglass is on full display up on the kitchen bar while Geddy hurriedly clears the magazines and opened mail off of the dining room table. "I thought you'd be hung over."

"Why?"

"'Cause I was a step away from holding your hair back while you puked last night."

Geddy's arms just sort of stop working, and the armful of magazines he's holding drop to the floor and scatter at his feet. "What?"

Alex chuckles and gracefully gathers up the magazines before plopping them into Geddy's arms. "You didn't actually throw up. But one more glass and you might've." He's intimidatingly close, and if Geddy were a braver man he thinks it would be easy to pull Alex closer and kiss him.

"I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing."

"No, you just said a bunch of embarrassing stuff," Alex says, wearing that grin of his that makes Geddy all twisted up inside. "Mostly about how handsome you think I am."

"Well, I was drunk, so... I'm sorry to have misled you." Geddy moves over to the coffee table and slides the magazines underneath it, busying himself in the hopes that Alex won't be able to read his face. It's important to keep moving in situations like this.

Alex has the opportunity to push the subject, but he doesn't, which tells Geddy he's afraid of breaking whatever they've built here. "How are you not hung over?"

"I don't really get hangovers. When I do it's 'cause I mixed stuff together that shouldn't be mixed."

"Bullshit," Alex says with a half-smile.

"Look, I can't explain how my weird body works. That's just how it's always been for me."

"You got lucky."

"If you wanna call it that."

Alex swings into the kitchen and studies the wine bottle. "So why are you drinking at"—he checks his watch—"oh, well, it's five o' clock, so I guess you've got an excuse."

"I'm nervous," Geddy admits.

"About Neil?" Alex scoffs and waves a dismissive hand. "Don't be. He's really just a huge teddy bear. If I can kiss him and he just frowns at me disapprovingly, I think we're in the clear for whatever happens tonight."

"Not Neil. You."

"Me?" Alex chuckles a breathy sound of surprise, looking proud of himself. "Well, I _have_ been trying to master that weird eyebrow thing Neil does when he's judging your life choices. I guess I got it down."

Geddy shakes his head and moves into the kitchen to refill his wineglass. Nervous energy. "This is the end, right, of this nice little thing we've created? Then we go back to our lives and never see each other again."

"Oh, you don't remember. We talked about this last night. I promised we'd keep in touch."

"Oh, shit, I brought this up while I was drunk?" Geddy winces. He can only imagine the pathetic lonely whining Alex had to endure.

"Don't worry about it," Alex says, clapping a hand on Geddy's shoulder and letting it linger there too long. "Now scram. Neil's s'posed to be here around six, and I have dinner to cook."

Geddy does as he's told and surrenders the kitchen to Alex's expertise. He's got a pretty good buzz going when Neil knocks on the door at promptly six o' clock. "Stall him!" Alex calls from the kitchen. "I need a few more minutes."

"He doesn't care," Geddy says, rolling his eyes as he opens the door. Neil gives him a controlled smile, as though it's just a formality. Geddy peers around him, looking for the rest of Neil's brood. "You came by yourself?"

"They didn't want to come," Neil explains, hanging up his coat and shaking off the cold. "Something about how I'm meddling in your lives—"

"Ha!" Alex laughs, emphatically pounding his fist on the kitchen counter. "It's not just Scooby-Doo villains who say 'meddling'!"

Neil looks at Alex, then his gaze shifts to Geddy, as if to say 'how do you put up with this?'

"Hey, Neil, if you want wine, you better get some now before Geddy drinks it all," Alex says.

Geddy starts to protest, but does he really want Neil knowing about his wine collection?

"None for me, thanks." Neil takes a seat at the table. "One of us ought to be sober."

Alex responds to that with, "I swear to drunk I'm not God!" and Neil gives Geddy _the look_ again. Geddy just shrugs and smiles. The wine has made his skin hot and prickly, and he can feel the flush in his cheeks already. Which is great, because when he blushes for real it will be harder to tell.

Once they're all seated and dinner is ready, Neil says, "So, Alex goes back to work tomorrow. It's a good thing you're used to being by yourself, Geddy."

Geddy thinks that's an unfair jab at his social life, but before he can protest Alex elbows him in the ribs and says, "That just gives us an opportunity to get really good at phone sex."

How can Alex just _say_ things like that? Geddy goes humiliatingly red and stares down at his plate. He's trying very hard not to think about what phone sex might be like with Alex. Well, if Alex wants to fluster him to death, two can play at that game. "We should probably master regular sex first, don't you think?"

Alex chokes on his laughter, and now Neil looks uncomfortable, which, good, this conversation is his fault anyway. He deserves a little discomfort. "Please stop talking about your sex life," Neil says, looking dismayed. "That's all I ask."

"That's really gonna limit our topics of conversation."

Geddy downs another swallow of wine.

"How are the kids?" Neil asks, glaring at Alex.

"Great! Geddy and I actually ran into Adrian the other day on one of our dates."

Neil tosses Geddy a questioning glance. "You met his son?"

"Very briefly, yeah."

Neil just looks baffled. "Does Adrian know you two are together?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Alex asks, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Neil throws up his hands. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because this whole thing is just a ridiculously elaborate lie you two have concocted to make me feel stupid, I guess?"

"And he's the sober one," Geddy chuckles, casting a glance at Alex.

Alex, however, is all scowls and pouty lips. He clutches Geddy's hand and says, "No, it's not a lie. I like Geddy. He's funny and smart and cute with a great ass. We make each other happy. There's this thing he does with his tongue that makes me _very_ happy—"

Geddy's blood vessels immediately respond to that, and he squeezes Alex's hand hard enough to hurt.

"Ow, ow, that's my favorite hand!" Alex whimpers. Geddy loosens his grip, figuring he's got the point. "What makes you think this is a joke, Neil? You had to have set us up together for a reason. Is it really so bizarre that we might actually like each other?"

"It's the 'moving in after one date' part I take issue with," Neil clarifies, but something about him is different now, as though Alex has said something to pierce through his disbelief.

Alex shrugs, still holding Geddy's hand, and Geddy wonders if that means anything. "When you met Jackie you knew she was the one, right? So why's it so hard to believe it could work that way for us?"

What the hell is Alex doing? They're supposed to break up tonight over dinner. How's that going to happen if Alex is proudly proclaiming their love? Geddy smiles at Alex and pushes away from the table to refill his wineglass, because he needs to drink his pain, hope, and fear into submission. Alex takes this opportunity to smack Geddy's ass, and Geddy experiences a tumultuous combination of lust and chagrin.

"God himself stops what he's doing to watch your ass, honey," Alex says as Geddy retreats into the kitchen. Jesus fucking Christ, this is too much to handle.

Geddy's hands shake as he refills his glass. "And you won't be touching it again if you keep making Neil uncomfortable."

"I'm sure Neil can handle it. Remember the Christmas party?"

"Unfortunately, I do. Jackie took a picture. She wanted to make it our Christmas card the following year."

Geddy has to put a stop to this. As much as he's secretly enjoying being Alex's eye-candy for the night, it's only going to hurt later because it doesn't mean anything. And the fact that Alex can do and say these things without looking like it's twisting him up doesn't help matters either.

"Alex," Geddy says, trying to keep the waver out of his voice. "Can I talk to you for a moment? In private?"

"Sure thing, babe." Alex clicks his tongue and winks at Neil, who rolls his eyes. Geddy leads Alex down the hall into the bedroom and shuts the door. The smell of his cologne fills Geddy's nostrils and then the rest of him. "What's up?"

"What are you doing? We're s'posed to break up tonight! How are we gonna make it believable when you're going on about how great we are together?"

"Oh, yeah..." Alex rubs the back of his neck. "I don't see that happening. Maybe it's time for plan B."

"Which is what?"

"Let whatever happens tonight happen, and then later on down the line when Neil asks either of us how we're doing, we can tell him we broke up 'cause I wasn't home enough." Alex shrugs. "It's what he's expecting to happen anyway. And, I mean, it makes sense. You've been alone for so long you probably want somebody who'll fill all those empty spaces in your life."

He's wrong, of course, but Geddy doesn't argue the point. "How will we know who said what? I mean, what if he calls me one day then you the next, and you're the one who tells him we broke up?"

"We can just call each other and get our stories straight," Alex says, like Geddy's being the world's biggest idiot. "Did you forget the whole part where we stay friends?"

"Yeah, but—"

"But what?"

Geddy has just now realized there will be a lot of explaining to do if he and Alex get together at some point in the future. They'll have to come clean about this being a prank and hope Neil has enough goodwill to wish them well a second time around.

"Nothing," Geddy says, shaking his head. "Never mind."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, c'mon, let's get back out there."

The rest of dinner passes by in a bit of a blur. The wine makes the world glimmer and shift, and Geddy desperately tries to hold on to these remaining, fleeting moments with Alex. But time is bending, slowing down and speeding up with no rhyme or reason, leaving Geddy with no surface in which to find purchase. He has wasted so much time waiting and hoping, wrapped up in complacency, and it makes him angry. Maybe he's been making this harder than it needs to be.

Throughout the evening, Alex keeps finding excuses for physical contact, like patting Geddy's knee or thigh underneath the table. Neil insists on helping them clean up after dinner, and Geddy's acutely aware of the way Alex's fingers seem to seek him out, brushing against the back of his hand during the exchange of dishes. When they're finished and Neil has quietly slipped into the restroom, Alex sighs and leans against the kitchen counter, looking at Geddy with a captivating, easy smile. "Well, we pulled it off."

"It would seem so." Geddy thinks about the way Neil has watched them this evening, the tentative happiness he might be feeling for the fragile, new relationship he's partly responsible for. "I think he's happy for us."

"Our love has warmed him in his hollow tin chest."

Geddy chuckles. "Oh, c'mon, give him a break. He's not used to this."

"I think we found the title of your sex tape," Alex teases with a brilliant grin.

"Is that a crack at my spotty sexual history or how I turn questioning guys into full-blown heterosexuals?"

"Well, the second one would make me sound like a real asshole, so... probably the first." Alex suddenly looks serious. "Is that what happened with John?"

"How do you know about John?"

"You talked about him last night when you were drunk."

"Shit," Geddy hisses under his breath, but this is an opportunity to expose a bit of the thorny underbrush of his past and shed some light on why he is the way he is. "Well, yeah, that's pretty much what happened." He toys with the damp dish towel hanging over the edge of the sink, just to keep his hands busy.

"What a jerk. He wrote off something that could'a been really great because of one bad experience?"

"Bad experience? With me?" Geddy's a little offended by that until his brain catches up and realizes Alex probably isn't even talking about John at all. A rush of warmth vibrates in his chest, and Alex steps forward and lifts his hand to Geddy's cheek, thumb brushing over his chin. Geddy decides this is his moment, that he should take a stupid chance like everyone else on the planet, and kisses Alex's mouth. Alex's lips open almost immediately, then his hands are on Geddy's face, pulling him closer, as close as two people can be, and Geddy feels the room wobble around him, and he clutches the front of Alex's shirt like he's drowning.

Alex has the most amazing lips, soft and plush and yielding, perfect for kissing. Geddy hears himself moan, then feels Alex's mouth curve into a smile beneath his own. "I've been wanting to kiss you all week," Alex gasps around his lips.

"Why didn't you?"

"You shot me down pretty hard the other night. I figured you just weren't attracted to me," Alex says in between quick kisses at the corner of Geddy's mouth.

"Are you serious? I'm crazy about you! God, I'm so fucking stupid, c'mere." Geddy tugs on Alex's shirt and pulls him closer, then they're kissing again, frantic and reckless, an entire week's worth of pent-up lust and need and tension aggressively uncorked like a shaken bottle of champagne. Alex kisses Geddy as though his mouth holds the last reserves of oxygen in the world. This, he thinks, is a man who has loved and lost. Alex will not take him for granted. The thought sends a shimmer throughout Geddy that he feels in his belly, then it's spreading over his skin as Alex pushes a hand underneath his shirt to clutch at his lower back.

Geddy becomes aware that he's embarrassingly hard, but Alex doesn't shy away from it, nudging him back against the kitchen counter and pressing into his arousal, moaning a sweet sound into Geddy's mouth as his fingertips trace fire along his spine. Geddy gets his hands full of Alex's hair, lost in the sweet vortex of their conjoined mouths.

Neil clears his throat, making Alex and Geddy pull away from each other like they've been caught doing something they're not supposed to. Geddy can't stop panting like he's run a marathon, and Alex's hair is mussed from Geddy's fingers. Neil's just standing there in the mouth of the kitchen, and it's anybody's guess how long he's been watching them. "Should I see myself out?" he asks with a humoring smile.

"N—no, no!" Geddy fusses with his hair and tries to remember how to breathe properly as he shows Neil to the door. "Sorry, we, um, well, you know how charming Alex can be."

Neil chuckles and grabs his coat off the rack. "Unfortunately, I do."

Geddy sort of jumps when Alex comes up behind him and slides his warm hands underneath Geddy's shirt, fingers curving around his hips. Geddy manages to get the door open without looking like too much of a dumbass, and Neil steps out. "Alex, thank you for a wonderful meal"—Alex beams at the praise—"and thanks to both of you for proving me wrong. I'll see you around."

Geddy barely gets the door closed before he's being shoved against it, his gasping protest subsumed by the warmth of Alex's mouth. "God, I want you so much," Alex huffs, kissing every part of Geddy he can reach: the corner of his mouth, under the hinge of his jaw, the tendon of his neck, the jut of his chin. "I've been fucking dying to touch you." His hands slip underneath Geddy's shirt and roam over hot skin. Alex's thumb flicks a nipple, and Geddy squirms under his hands and makes a noise that gets Alex pressing against him, his dick hard against Geddy's thigh.

Geddy guides his hand to where Alex needs him most, earning himself a low groan in his ear as Alex pushes his hips into the touch. "Fuck me, please," Geddy pleads.

"Jesus, Ged, I'm like an exposed nerve ending down there," Alex breathes over his mouth. "I won't last very long."

"Are you kidding? My sexual history is full of regrettable and embarrassing encounters. You could jerk off on my face and it would still be the best thing that ever happened to me."

Alex laughs and drags Geddy in for another kiss, thorough and filthy. "Would you actually let me?"

"Later. Just get inside me right now."

They stumble down the hall, kissing and clinging to each other and shedding clothes as they go. Geddy's vaguely aware of losing his pants somewhere in the hallway, then Alex is yanking Geddy's boxers down and shoving him against the bedroom wall. They're not going to make it to the bed, which is fine with Geddy, because it's been ages since someone has wanted him with this kind of animal intensity. Alex gets a hand around him and tugs, thumb brushing over the flushed, leaking head of Geddy's cock.

"Fuck, you can't just—you're still fully clothed. How is this fair?" Geddy whines. "I wanna see you."

Alex bites his lower lip—which really shouldn't be so attractive—and lets his hand fall away. "You really don't."

"Ugh, shut up," Geddy groans, plucking open the buttons of Alex's shirt and jeans. Every inch of him is perfectly imperfect, from the dimples and creases in his skin to the extra pounds that round out his frame. Real beauty needs those odd imperfections, the exceptions that prove the rule. "You're the best-looking person I've ever had sex with."

"You're such a liar," Alex says with a grin.

"No, I'm just a little biased 'cause you're my favorite. Now shut up and get inside me."

Alex laughs. "You're the one who keeps talking, idiot." He finds the lube in the top drawer of the nightstand and gets his fingers wet, just enough to slide two slippery digits inside. Geddy yelps and drops his head back against the wall, his body shaking as Alex loops his free arm under Geddy's thigh and hitches his leg up. Geddy rolls his hips into the slow stroke of Alex's hand. "I bet I could make you come just by touching you like this," Alex murmurs, watching him in a way that makes Geddy feel more exposed than he's ever been.

"Where's"—Geddy chokes on a gasp when Alex's fingers curl inside of him—"the fun in that?"

"Oh, I'm having lots of fun." The wet, blunt ends of Alex's fingers tag his prostate, and a shaking sigh shudders out of Geddy's lungs. He clutches the collar of Alex's shirt, willing him closer.

"Don't you wanna come in me?" Geddy says, because he knows how Alex will respond to that, by groaning low in his throat and momentarily pausing the teasing stroke of his hand.

"I told you I'm not gonna last long. I gotta build you up to where I'm at."

"I promise I won't last that long either. I want you so much, you gotta—"

"Okay, okay," Alex says in a shaky exhale, mercifully easing his fingers out and edging his jeans down enough to slick his cock up with lube. His dick is pretty amazing, just like Geddy imagined it would be, and he can't tear his gaze away from the hurried, wet slide of Alex's fist.

Geddy brushes his fingers down Alex's arm. "You're gonna feel so good inside me."

"Shut up or I'm gonna blow my load right here."

Geddy does as he's told, lets Alex prepare himself, then he's being hauled against the bedroom wall, Alex's hands wrapped underneath Geddy's ass as he eases his cock in. Geddy can't help the loud, breathy cry that shakes out of him or the way he wraps his legs around Alex's waist to seal their hips together. Alex is a hell of a lot stronger than he looks, able to hold Geddy up as he fucks him at a fevered pitch, placing frantic kisses over Geddy's mouth and stealing his moans.

It's only their first time with each other, but somehow their bodies know how to fit together, know how and when to push, and Alex doesn't even complain about the high-pitched gasping noises Geddy's making with each thrust. Alex moans Geddy's name in between kisses, pounding between his legs, and every now and then Geddy feels the teeth of Alex's zipper against his skin, and it's been so fucking long since someone has wanted Geddy this badly, since someone has kissed him with the same hungry sincerity that Alex has right now.

Geddy fists his hands in Alex's hair, and he can tell Alex wants to touch him but can't, his fingers flexing against Geddy's ass as he adjusts his grip where his hands are slipping. Alex is pressed tight against him, wrecked and red and sweaty, and he shakes apart with a smothered moan, filling Geddy up, hot and wet. Geddy follows him immediately, coming noisily and incoherently, because he's never been able to hold out after that. Alex is breathing hard into the curve of Geddy's neck, his hips rocking weakly between Geddy's thighs, desperate to ride out the last few aftershocks of his orgasm.

Geddy remembers how legs work, and his feet find the floor again. "That was... awesome," he manages to say while catching his breath. He's woozy with satisfaction, stars still bursting behind his eyes.

"Not bad for an old fat guy, huh?"

Geddy laughs and drags him in for another kiss. "Title of your sex tape," he says, then they're both laughing and crashing onto the bed, kissing and groping each other like they're teenagers again.

Geddy eventually drags Alex into the bathroom for a shower, where Alex mauls him against the tile wall, his fingers stroking and pressing where his dick had been. It doesn't take very long at all for Alex to pull another orgasm out of Geddy, and once they're squeaky clean Geddy gets them dirty again by tipping Alex over the edge of the bed and taking him into his mouth. Alex's hands weave into Geddy's hair, tugging and pulling as Geddy's lips work around the hilt of his cock. No matter what Alex says—and Alex says a lot—Geddy takes his time discovering what Alex likes, how he responds to the drag of Geddy's tongue and the suction of his mouth.

"Mm, fuck," Alex groans, his hips lifting off of the bed, because he knows Geddy can take it. His legs are quivering, slung over Geddy's shoulders. He is unlike anyone whose cock has ever been in Geddy's mouth; he doesn't narrate or give a detailed play-by-play of his impending orgasm like so many of Geddy's regrettable one-night stands. Alex just makes soft little gasping sounds, his voice fractured with breathless noises and swearing cut through with Geddy's name. He tugs at Geddy's hair, his spine arching as he comes, and he's a beautiful shivering mess against Geddy's tongue. Geddy swallows him down, craving the taste of him. He is salt-bitter and so, so sweet.

Alex's chest is still heaving, and Geddy licks him clean before dropping kisses along the line of his inner thigh. Alex curls his fingers in Geddy's hair. "C'mere. I wanna kiss you."

"You just came in my mouth."

"I don't care," Alex slurs out, and Geddy climbs up his body so Alex can show his appreciation. His hands are warm on Geddy's face, his mouth hot and eager. He nips at Geddy's lower lip and rolls them over. "Your turn," he grins.

Alex can't take his mouth off Geddy's body, pressing kisses over his chest, stomach, his inner thighs, until he mercifully takes the swollen head of his cock between his lips. Geddy fights the instinct to thrust into his mouth, because Alex is new at this, and he ought to be able to learn without having a dick rammed down his throat. Alex hums around him, the tip of his tongue swirling and tracing shapes over his cock. Every now and then he opens his eyes, his gaze flicking up at Geddy, like he can't tell from the soft, desperate noises Geddy's making that he's enjoying this.

Geddy sighs, content under the suction of Alex's mouth, and nestles his fingers in his hair. "You should move in. For real this time."

Alex stops and looks at him, his eyes wide. "You're just saying that 'cause I've got your cock in my mouth," he teases, his lips pulling into a smirk against the leaking head of Geddy's cock. His tongue licks at the beads of precum there, and Geddy swallows back a moan.

"No, I mean it. I want you here with me. You're right, we're good together. We make each other happy," Geddy says, and, Christ, it sounds just as embarrassingly stupid as he thought it would. Alex hasn't responded yet, just flattens his tongue along the throbbing vein on the underside of Geddy's dick, but Geddy can't even enjoy that now, because he feels like he's said something he can't take back or play off as a joke. That doesn't stop him from trying, though. "But I get it if you don't want to." Shit, how did he manage to make the same fucking mistake _twice_?

"Of course I want to," Alex says amidst his novice worship of Geddy's cock. "I love you—your apartment."

Geddy laughs, choking on the happy sob that's lodged in his chest, and says, "You love me." It's the first time someone has said that to him, and he's imagined it from every angle, but that hasn't prepared him for how it actually sounds and resonates in his veins.

"Shut up," Alex grumbles. "It just sorta came out."

"Is that another title for your sex tape?"

Alex snorts laughter over the jutting bone of Geddy's hip. "Well, it's true. I do love you." The heat of his breath is maddeningly close to Geddy's cock, and he can't stop the way his hips sort of roll into it. "Hey, hey, c'mon, I'm being sincere and you just want me to suck your dick."

"Well, you're kinda breathing on it. Makes it hard to concentrate on anything else."

Alex rolls his eyes with love and swallows Geddy down the best he can. He licks and sucks with beginner's enthusiasm, discovering how Geddy likes to be touched. Alex hums around him, because he's learned every time he does he's rewarded with a sharp gasp and the arch of Geddy's hips. Geddy looks at Alex there between his legs, his mouth working wet and sloppy around his cock, hands braced against his thighs, and fucking loses it. Alex reflexively pulls away mid-spurt, jizz splashing onto his cheek.

"Sorry," Geddy says through a ragged inhale, "it just sorta came out."

Alex laughs and kisses him until they're breathless.

* * *

Geddy wakes up alone the next morning, the sunlight draped over the bed. His body is sore and blissfully achy, reminding him of all the things he and Alex did last night. The cold air bites at his skin when he peels back the comforter, so he throws on a pair of sweatpants, socks, and a Toronto Maple Leafs sweatshirt before heading into the hallway to adjust the heat.

He's disappointed to see Alex isn't sitting there on the couch, even though that wasn't a likely possibility anyway. Alex's bags are gone, and Geddy's heart beats in a panicked flail, because, oh Christ, what if none of this was real? He could have dreamed up this last week as some sort of coping mechanism for his loneliness. The ache in his thighs tells him it must have been real, but that's not really conclusive evidence.

He sees a box of donuts on the kitchen counter. When Geddy moves closer, he discovers a note tucked underneath the box.

_If you're reading this, good morning! And congrats on being able to walk after last night! ;) I'll call you as soon as I can, and we can get started on mastering phone sex. Love you and miss you already ♥_ _Alex_

Geddy brews his morning coffee and reads the note again. It doesn't change.


End file.
